Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
