Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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