Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it glows. i had to have it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
40s are totally the cure
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
