Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
