man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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