At least make sure they are 18
Why
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
