I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Found your dick twin last night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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