Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Someone shit on the floor
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
