Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just had sex bonerless
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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