All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
