Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
