Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
