Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
