Dude my mom stole all your condoms
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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