so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
