you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
