spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize
