just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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