A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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