I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
