Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
