come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Boobs are out for the taking
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
