She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
