i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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