Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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