Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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