I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
