so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
