on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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