I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i've created a new STD.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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