My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
