The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
