U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The adults are the big ones right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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