Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
