They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
