How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
