The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
