Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
