Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
