I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
