What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Less talking, more tequila
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
