FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
