question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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