remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He has the fingertips of a God
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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