what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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