Soap is not a condiment
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
