Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
