The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
