Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
