She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
