; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The feeling are messing with the penis
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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