If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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