remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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