Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
